things i will start to do:

1) stop eating after dinner. every time i have a craving for a midnight snack and i give in to eating something, i end up feeling incredibly sick. i've improved at this and so far it's made me feel so much better. i actually am hungry when i wake up whenever i practice this.

2) i will go to bed early—even if i'm not tired. i know that once i get out a book and begin to read, comfortable under my covers, i will want to fall asleep immediately. i'm really bad at going to sleep early. really bad. i almost never get tired at night (i'm more of a late-afternoon napper). i wish i didn't have to sleep at all. i feel that it is a waste of my precious time, time that i could spend dedicated to myself whereas in the day i spend the majority of my time dedicated to others.

3) read every moment i have to spare instead of looking at my phone/searching around on my computer.

4) go to the gym each weekday and get at least a half-hour in. i never want to before i go but i always feel good afterwards.

5) practice saying my ideas aloud. i have all these ideas... opinions... things. i don't really think that i was ever encouraged by my parents to share these ideas. (they're good parents and all but they don't always value the same things i do). anyways, because i was never encouraged i've always had trouble with expressing myself verbally. i stutter or mumble and i say "um" and "like" alot, and i sometimes jumble around with my main point and will have to start all over again. i can just tell that the people/person i'm speaking to has glazed-over eyes because of how poor i present my thoughts. this, in itself, makes me nervous, and also messes up whatever part of my idea i have left because i try to rush through my story to get to my main point because i know i'm boring my listener(s). and then they don't get me at all and they're just like, "what is she trying to say??????????". so from now on i will speak my thoughts verbally when i have an idea in my head and i will try my best not to be so concerned with what my listener(s) is/(are) thinking and continue on with my idea the best i can.

6) try to get inspired by things.

7) not be so selfish. (this is a hard one—not only am i at a selfish age but i am just a selfish person, naturally). i've never tried this one before. i'm not really sure how to even start to tackle it.

i think that's it. maybe i should try to be more positive, but i think i'm pushing it with all the ways i want to impove. maybe after i've worked on these...

 

also i made my first 8tracks mix this week—you're welcome to have a listen!