mid-july

above: this week in photos

i'm visiting my family and their town has some nice scenic areas and a very pretty waterfront

i'm super nervous because in half an hour i'll have to pick my courses for school and it's a very chaotic thing i want to throw up i don't even know why i feel this way since i have a made a schedule and have a backup schedule

i just want someone to make me a tea or bring me a vanilla soy latte

also! my family and i are going to new york city next week and i'm planning an itinerary for the 3-4 days we're there (i am the family planner). i am v excited for new york (we've been once before but there is so much i haven't seen) and i know they will have many vegan options for me.

lately i've been reading a book called eating animals by jonathan safran foer (you can find it in the social sciences section). don't ask me what it's about—it's in the name. but it is also so much more than that. i've been a vegan since april. i'm personally a vegan for ethical, environmental, health and economical reasons. probably in that order. i recently only have bought beauty products at lush and the body shop because they are animal-friendly. i love lush because it clearly depicts which of its item are vegan (though all are vegetarian). anyways, i highly recommend the book for anybody. it's taught me alot. i have nothing against those who eat meat (my entire family eats meat. my boyfriend is a butcher. also i do not know anyone else personally who is a vegan). this book doesn't shame but in a way empathize with omnivores. i won't get into it all. but read it. just try (it's by the author who wrote extremely loud and incredibly close, btw).

also i've read and own one too many books by cis white men so (other than this book^) i'm planning to read/am reading books by people such as maya angelou and kate chopin and zora neale hurston.

i should be posting more soon. follow me on instagram (hummingquietly or melaniemisener, which is my personal one) and twitter (hummingquietly).

thanks and have a good week! xxo

things i will start to do:

1) stop eating after dinner. every time i have a craving for a midnight snack and i give in to eating something, i end up feeling incredibly sick. i've improved at this and so far it's made me feel so much better. i actually am hungry when i wake up whenever i practice this.

2) i will go to bed early—even if i'm not tired. i know that once i get out a book and begin to read, comfortable under my covers, i will want to fall asleep immediately. i'm really bad at going to sleep early. really bad. i almost never get tired at night (i'm more of a late-afternoon napper). i wish i didn't have to sleep at all. i feel that it is a waste of my precious time, time that i could spend dedicated to myself whereas in the day i spend the majority of my time dedicated to others.

3) read every moment i have to spare instead of looking at my phone/searching around on my computer.

4) go to the gym each weekday and get at least a half-hour in. i never want to before i go but i always feel good afterwards.

5) practice saying my ideas aloud. i have all these ideas... opinions... things. i don't really think that i was ever encouraged by my parents to share these ideas. (they're good parents and all but they don't always value the same things i do). anyways, because i was never encouraged i've always had trouble with expressing myself verbally. i stutter or mumble and i say "um" and "like" alot, and i sometimes jumble around with my main point and will have to start all over again. i can just tell that the people/person i'm speaking to has glazed-over eyes because of how poor i present my thoughts. this, in itself, makes me nervous, and also messes up whatever part of my idea i have left because i try to rush through my story to get to my main point because i know i'm boring my listener(s). and then they don't get me at all and they're just like, "what is she trying to say??????????". so from now on i will speak my thoughts verbally when i have an idea in my head and i will try my best not to be so concerned with what my listener(s) is/(are) thinking and continue on with my idea the best i can.

6) try to get inspired by things.

7) not be so selfish. (this is a hard one—not only am i at a selfish age but i am just a selfish person, naturally). i've never tried this one before. i'm not really sure how to even start to tackle it.

i think that's it. maybe i should try to be more positive, but i think i'm pushing it with all the ways i want to impove. maybe after i've worked on these...

 

also i made my first 8tracks mix this week—you're welcome to have a listen!

 

summer

it's really crazy to me that it's almost mid-july

i feel like i've been up to absolutely nothing

i'm still trying to find a job (haha i'm pathetic, i'm well aware)

i haven't read nearly enough (i recently finished 1984 and didn't like it? more than anything it made me mad. now, i know that was the point of the book, but still. i always feel stupid in a way when i read a classic and declare i don't like it; i feel like everyone else got something from it that i didn't. i wasn't too fond of the great gatsby either. was it just me? i mean, the writing in both of these novels was excellent. and the ideas were important and unique. i just... didn't connect with them? okay i'll stop now. i'm rambling)

i read alot every day, even if it's not novels. i read alot of magazines (fashion magazines can be interesting and informative, contrary to popular belief) and articles and blog posts... and I've written a bit. i've had this story in mind for a while now. it follows the life of one girl and her sisters and her best friend and this boy... i've written some of it down. but most of it is in my head. and i want to start writing the entire thing down. it may take me forever and it may never be as good as it is in my head but i'd like to try. all i need now is a first scene... i think what's really important in alot of love stories is the way in which characters meet. it's the beginning of everything. even if it's not love at first sight the people always leave a lasting impression on each other. i have a special faux-leather-bound journal to write everything in. i'm excited to fill in the blank pages. even though it isn't a film i have ideas for songs that play in the background of certain scenes. i also happen to love these songs.

flume - bon iver
the peacock - Beirut
wild horses - susan boyle
brain damage - pink floyd
hikikomori - zola jesus
17 - youth lagoon

there may be more but i forget. they always come back to me.

i made my schedule for school already. i'm commuting to toronto from where i live. first semester i have 22 hours of class which is completely nuts and i can't change it... my first year of uni put me through hell. it was very stressful and i was constantly doing work. i really never worked that hard in my life. i pulled 4 all nighters throughout the year. i was up until 2 many nights. hopefully things get better. i ended up doing alright, for my first year and all. i though my program was very hard and demanding. it seemed to me that everyone else had done better than me but when i looked at the averages for each class i took, i ended up doing better than the average 80% of the time. hopefully this year is better. or at least more interesting. for alot of my life i've wanted to study medicine. i still think that's what i want to do. i want to do everything. i want to learn everything. but at the end of the day i want to be a doctor, an ob/gyn specifically. recently i changed my psyc major to a psyc minor and a minor in woman and gender studies. on top of that is my human bio major. being a feminist and all i'm really interested in gender studies. also, i think it will be a good thing to study if i ever become an ob/gyn. i think it would be awesome to be a leader in women's health... that's something i think is important: that mothers and women who care for other people on a daily basis also care about themselves (and by this i mean i would like to promote/ensure the mental and physical health of women). that's what i want. (i really try not to worry about what will happen if i don't get into medical school, but that is a long way away from now, so i'm not gonna go there. it only give me anxiety.)

i'm really into mac lipsticks right now. as a vegan i also try to buy products that are vegetarian and aren't tested on animals... i don't want to know what's inside a mac lipstick because i love them too much. as i'm writing this i'm simultaneously babysitting my cousins and applying this nailpolish:

obviously that's a bad combination.

i'm not rich my any means (my dad is a truck driver) but buying little gifts for myself once an a while (like a 30 dollar nailpolish and an 18 dollar lipstick) make me feel good.

i haven't updated recently so i apologize. i'm so inconsistent! here are some photos from june/beginning of july.



 this is the change room of a little shop on the danforth

 

 vegan pancakes are just as good as regular pancakes, i promise

 my grandparent's garden

 vegan peanut butter oat muffins

 i love these films. my sister got me this for my birthday.

 inside my egon schiele artbook

 missing a time when nylon was v good

 at the niagara-on-the-lake festival

 

 this theatre was so neat

 after seeing she & him (we were at the international jazz festival which is hosted by montreal each year)

montreal



the change room of a cute little boutique in montreal 

 i couldn't have anything here but a coffee with soy milk but my family really enjoyed it!

 a vegan restaurant which grimes frequently visits in montreal

 

 

we also saw belle & sebastian at the jazz festival (they are my favourite band and they were great)

 

some other photos from montreal:

 

 

 

 

ok i think i'm done now. until next time (which will hopefully be soon)...

 

oh and p.s. currently i am listening to lorde, grimes, lana del rey, sky ferreira, alt-j, haim and vampire weekend. i am also awaiting my friend from school to come back from hong kong (less than 4 days!!!!!!!!)

 

have a lovely week!